Live from the City of Angels Steel Panther hits the stage at the historic Viper Room to bring their fans around the globe metal, makeup and spandex like never before. For this special event the band was willing to pull out all the stops including special guests, iconic covers and what Halloween show would be complete without some scary stories. After the cute jack-o-lantern countdown we grab a seat in the front row of a roller coaster as we get flash images of zombies and clowns while a demonic voice gives safety instructions. Soon we are front and center looking at Satchel’s purple camo guitar as “It Won’t Suck Itself” begins its elegant start to the show.
Getting our first look at the band we see Satchel sporting some skeleton face paint and a shirt with a zombie version of himself and a pair of Van Halen sweatbands, lead singer Michael Starr dons a leopard jacket and mild black nose and whiskers while drummer Stix Zadinia goes with pumkin head and bassist Lexxi Foxx plays as the dead bride. With the end of “Gold Digging Whore” and the roar of pre-recorded audience applause, the band addresses the crowd viewing from home. We get touch points on everything from how the band earned money during the pandemic, selling coke and necrophilia to failed jokes and reading love messages from the live message board.
Following Steel Panther’s ghost story about a girl named Debbie who moved to L.A. from Oklahoma and found her decapitated dog, we return to the Viper Room and notice that Lexxi Foxx has been replaced with none other than Ozzy Osbourne bass player Blasko. But the surprises didn’t end there. As Satchel explains how the magic of the Ouija brought him to the show oh wait, here comes Ozzy himself. Or just Michael Starr just pulling off an incredible Ozzy impression. Stix plays that famous drum into and right into the classic “Over the Mountain“. Ozzy Starr hits the stage with lyric sheet in hand as he sang or mumbled the words with complete conviction as he clapped away and eventually called out for “SHARON!!!”.
With the passing of the legendary Eddie Van Halen this would be the bands platform to pay tribute to one of the greatest to ever pick up a guitar in their own unique way. After a great rendition of “Panama” Satchel and Michael reminisce about the time Michael’s mom got the boys backstage at a Van Halen show by spending some quality time with singer David Lee Roth because after all, what are dedicated mothers for. After Starr reflects on his advice of “Sleeping with chicks after the show and keep playing heavy metal” from Diamond Dave, the EVH tribute train chugs along with a little number from Van Halen’s 1984 arena anthem “Jump“. Satchel really stole the show with his spot on Eddie guitar work through both songs and I’m sure Diamond Dave would have a smile and a thumbs up for Michael Starr’s performance.
With the bands homage to random oral sex through a wall “Gloryhole” brings the show to yet another high point as the guys gather around for their second spooky tale. This time we learn the tale of the groupie who’s scarf had become the obsession for the singer of Jesus and the Handhelds, or was it Jesus and the Holdhands. Nope, Jesus and the Buttholes, that’s it. After multiple attempts to wear the scarf had been shot down, Greg removed it while she slept and when he finally pulled it free, her head rolled off the bed and yelled “You always wanted me to give you head, and now you have it!”. I don’t know about you, but I was terrified. When everyone gathers themselves, drummer Stix Zadinia moves front and center behind the keyboard to deliver the emotional driven harmonies of “Weenie Ride”.
As we wipe the tears from our faces another surprise guest emerges onto the stage. Through the bright glare of the stage lights, Eagles of Death Metal frontman Jesse Hughes stands in an outfit that Daddy from the movie Dodgeball would certainly be proud of. After mounting the pink dildo from his holster on a stool it only be fitting that Steel Panther break into none other than Judas Priest’s “You Got Another Thing Coming“. You could just feel the level of preparedness as Jesse throws blank stares as his parts come up or forgetting lyrics mid-verse. But what he lacked in the vocal department, he certainly made up in eye candy and stage presence as he cracked a real whip at the members of the band. Luckily he had one more shot as he absolutely crushed Billy Idol’s anthem “Rebel Yell“. You could tell the nerves of playing such a big show were there but he ended strong and the band couldn’t have been happier.
For the final chapter of the Halloweenie Ride spooky tales, the band tell the story of a young couple the go to make-out point. As they are making moves in the car they hear a news story of the notorious Austin Pounders has escape from the local prison. The couple go back and forth about the likely hood of this guy showing up and just then there are loud bangs from the back of the car. Well, the two speed out of there in absolute terror but as they pull up to her house they figure out what the banging was. Austin Pounders had been there the whole time and the large dildo that is stuck to their car shows just how close to death they actually were.
We return to the stage and begin to get trick or treating advice from Satchel and Michael Starr. But the best words of wisdom for the kids at home would be if someone does actually give you cocaine, to make sure you give it to your parents to make sure it’s real before you snort it. Proof that Steel Panther is all about the fans. Satchel tells the story of how the next song came to be while reminiscing of the young lady who he had relations with on that very stage. And that boys and girls, is how “Community Property” came to be.
One of the most recognized ballads in rock history it pulls on the heart strings with every word as the listeners go through the emotional ringer. But Steel Panther wasn’t about to end the show like that. They switch gears and play their high octane motivational anthem “Party All Day (Fuck All Night) off of the bands ground breaking first album Feel the Steel. With the hour and a half spectacular now at a close, looking at the band members faces it very clear that they gave blood, sweat and tears and most likely other fluids to give the fans the show they deserved! Thank you to Steel Panther for putting on a great that was packed with great surprises and even better music!
For fans in the Orlando area, Steel Panther will be playing live and in person at Ace Cafe with Black Stone Cherry on December 12th. Make sure you grab your tickets while you can. And for all you guitar players out there. Satchel has released his newest distortion pedal the Butthole Burner which is the same circuitry of the fan favorite Pussy Melter. Get your pre-order in at steelpanther.com.